The Willingness to be socially injured and the Law of Crow

Last year I finally completed the exit from my work as a psychologist in private practice. The impetus for this decision began in March of 2020 when I witnessed the world fall victim to one of the greatest social experiments I have ever seen.

The shear pleasure people derived from this fictitious herd experiment foisted upon the public psyche was so appalling to me, so utterly repulsive, I could not continue to participate in what I know (and knew then) would do irreparable damage to society. It was a monumental decision on my part, and one I question to this day.

I sold my home and most of my belongings to begin the journey back to full time study of individuation in the seclusion of a little cottage on the edge of the Cumberland Plateau in Tennessee. I am a 62 year old woman with no family and no children. A true orphan in every sense of the word.

This has possibly been the most difficult thing I have done in my life, and that is saying quite a lot. It would be too laborious a task to write the complete story of my youth and the challenges it brought - not only in the amount of time in details - but anyone reading it would find it difficult to believe anyway.

I’m not in the realm of the “victim olympics” currently playing itself out on the world stage and I detest the thought of being compartmentalized in any way.

I write because I enjoy the stimulation and creative impulse. I publish some of these musings because I want to.

To be frank, the process of individuation for me is something I have worked tirelessly on for as long as I can remember. Even as a child, I was shown repeatedly my cloth was not a socially approved color.

Most Native people understand this without warrant.

I am a half-breed with no clan.

Because of the absence of a traditional native bond and the lack of its teachings, I fancy myself as autodidactic in many ways. This has actually proven to be my very own (quite personal) “walk in beauty” with the caveat of “while in pain”. I have been told by many clients throughout my time in practice that this was why they chose to trust me. Not knowing my background at all, other than the papers hanging on the wall (which mean nothing.)

Now I study with nature. I witness its beauty and its cruelty without judgment, and I allow its rejection of me even though I fight back when it bites and stings.

I don’t blame the bug for having a bite of me and I won’t put myself above its obliviousness of choice when I kill it. I also know I am a visitor, and the moment I am oblivious to its instinct is the moment instant ramifications are warranted against me.

I am in agreement with her. If I cant (or won’t) see, she’s going to quickly - and without remorse… have her way with me. A fair exchange.

Studying with Crow has always been a dream of mine. Living around city crows never really bore much fruit. My world was busy with a lot of doing, and even though there was opportunity, I could not devote the time necessary for trust building.

One of the laws of crow is that I have a clan. They observe reactions from others as a point of reference to character and a clan/family offers a specific insight. How can I learn with them when I have no clan?! Well, according to them, your neighbor will do in a pinch. And from what they’ve shown me… they will also assimilate members after long (very loud) parlays with their neighbors. This decision is never made in haste and comes with its own set of rules. Rules I must learn if I wish to interact with them. Crow law is exact. They seldomly allow a second chance and they are quick to punish. If given a second chance, they can (and will) “set you up” just like other higher forms of consciousness… such as humans.

Crows are amongst the most intelligent birds in the animal kingdom and is why I chose them as proper teacher at this time in my life. Their response to death is a unique feature that distinguishes them from the rest of the animal kingdom. Only a few other animals such as elephants and whales have these significant responses to death. I have experienced grief from death many times - in fact, I choose my friends and teachers based solely on this familiarity and always have.

I also enjoy knowing this particular form of consciousness has a depth of honesty I seek to emulate, and that is they are emotionally honest at the risk of social punishment. Humans rarely if ever go this route.

I like to think they can feel this in me. Whether that’s true or not, we still have a journey ahead of us, and one I finally have the time to indulge in.

Crows have been observed performing “death rituals” many times. They express themselves freely and without apology.